Thursday, August 30, 2007

Welcome to the Assassin's Guild

Was digging around in some ancient text files and found this from 19 years ago...

*--* Qmodem Scroll Back Dump File *--*

Connected at [2400] baud!


For your crimes you are the prey.
The sounds of the hunters and hounds
are close behind.
A dark street beckons REFUGE! At
it's end stands a small house.
Somewhere inside a single light glows.
Breathlessly, you reach for the entry
knocker just as the door is opened by

-=:>Thy Code #, Alias, or [NEW]:49

The Rogue queries "What is thy password?"

=] Checking thy password

=] Good evening JACK THE RIPPER
=] From HELL
=] Last visit 09/24/88
=] Today is 09/26/88 23:05:28
=] Vistor register number 35375

=] Welcome to the Assassin's Guild
=] Thy Sysop is Master of the Hunt

Main Bulletins from 1 to 75
There are 21 new bulletins

Thy Auto Message
Date ->09/26/88

call 241-1927
Powerhouse BBS
300 baud.. 7,e,n

=] Thou hast note(s) waiting
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Subj ->Jesus and Mary Chain
From ->THETIS (#32)
Date ->09/24/88

Very good group aren't they? So tell me ...Who do you love? heh heh....

(A)uto reply, [C]ontinue, (R)e-read :A


Enter message now, 79 cols, [4k] max
[DONE] when finished, [.H] for help'

I love Kojak cuz he loves me... (He always says it doesn't he?)


70 bytes entered
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Subj ->OKOK
From ->PLINY THE ELDER (#98)
Date ->09/24/88

ok.. <<>>

I'm trying to get it from Madman!!

Me the Second

(A)uto reply, [C]ontinue, (R)e-read :A


Enter message now, 79 cols, [4k] max
[DONE] when finished, [.H] for help'

Madman is an IBM guy.. you aint gonna get anything for an apple from an IBM
person you idiot...


97 bytes entered
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Subj ->Yo Jack...
Date ->09/25/88

...I've been thinking. I will probably roll up the characters, because I'll
beef up the rolls a little. I'm thinking about starting you guys at about
3rd level because bringing up 1st level characters can be gruesome. I'd hate
to send a magic-user into battle armed only with magic missles. If you think
otherwise let me know. I think I'm going to give you a neutral/evil thief.
Male ofcourse, also what kind of race would you like. A hobbit maybe, my
precious ? Another thing about rolling the characters up, I'll probably give
everyone an 18 in their primary attribute and other magic items. I want them
to last, because yall are only playing one each and I really want to give yall
the chance to make it and live in infamy.

(A)uto reply, [C]ontinue, (R)e-read :A


Enter message now, 79 cols, [4k] max
[DONE] when finished, [.H] for help'

Well, I was kind of thinking the same thing.. Starting at level 1 is lame...
Hmm.. a hobbit thief? I was hoping for more the elvin type... (that is, if I
ain't gonna have a human Anti-Paladin from hell...) But an elvin thief would
be ok I suppose.. neutral evil please.... I dunno... I just like evil


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Brd ->General Board
Numb ->71 of 75
Sub ->Guaranteed way to lose weight
From ->MORGANA (#184)
Date ->09/25/88

Hitchhike from here, along the east coast to Boston with only $2.00 in your works every time!

[B1 #71 of 75] ? or Cmd [N]#

Brd ->General Board
Numb ->72 of 75
Sub ->I'm back.
From ->WASTER (#23)
Date ->09/25/88

I'm back. Some of you may remember me, most of you won't.

Let me get this straight now: Sorry for usings so much time. I only have a
300 baud modem and am unfamiliar with the system. you tend to forget trivial
matters like these after three years.

Anyone who does remember me, I would request that you chat in E-mail rather
than on the gen board.

The Waster

[B1 #72 of 75] ? or Cmd [N]#a

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Enter message now, 79 cols, [4k] max
[DONE] when finished, [.H] for help'

Oh boy.. you're back! I'm overjoyed..


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Brd ->General Board
Numb ->73 of 75
Sub ->Suicide...
From ->Images of Heaven (#79)
Date ->09/25/88

is painless... it brings on many changes...

but it's spoder to be a Bubbleman.

[B1 #73 of 75] ? or Cmd [N]#

Brd ->General Board
Numb ->74 of 75
Sub ->Lis...
From ->SHADOWSPAWN (#220)
Date ->09/26/88

While we all know you are the perfect bbs goddess, if you really want to lose
weight, I have the one method guaranteed to work. Go see your local Marine
recruiter, and tell him you want a 13 week vacation at the Paris Island, or San
Diego weight loss centers. Never fails. And you learn to shoot also...

[B1 #74 of 75] ? or Cmd [N]#

Brd ->General Board
Numb ->75 of 75
Sub ->RE:Weight
From ->DEVILDOG (#56)
Date ->09/26/88

OOOORRAAHHH........Up in the morning with the rising sun, going to run all day
ging to Yea Lis, a few weeks in a Marine CorpsBalloon
Platoon will get the weight off. And who knows you might meet a nice grunt.


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Brd ->Arena
Numb ->144 of 150
Sub ->Yes, folks... it's the RESPONSE!
From ->THE BERKUT (#9)
Date ->09/24/88

Gee, Speedy, are you by any chance wavin' that pop gun in MY direction? Nah,
you wouldn't do a thing like that. Somebody who can write like that surely
can't be THAT stupid. O

Brd ->Arena
Numb ->145 of 150
Sub ->[TW] I'm back.
From ->WAST

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Brd ->Adventurer's Hall
Numb ->48 of 53
Sub ->Let me in.
From ->GLEEKO (#68)
Date ->09/24/88

Hello, I've been playing AD&D for about 6 years. I would gladly play. Are
you planing to give us NPC, or what?

[B7 #48 of 53] ? or Cmd [N]#

Brd ->Adventurer's Hall
Numb ->49 of 53
Sub ->P's H
From ->WASTER (#23)
Date ->09/25/88

Hey, KtA

If you have been going to the
bookstores like I have, you would know
that TSR has raised its prices. Normal
handbooks cost $15, and the DMG now
costs $21. Just thought you'd like to

I have about 7 years experience of
playing and DM'ing AD&D. Do I send you
E-mail to get in on the game or what?
It sounds like fun...

The Waster

[B7 #49 of 53] ? or Cmd [N]#

Brd ->Adventurer's Hall
Numb ->50 of 53
Sub -> TR?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
From ->ALPHA ONE (#55)
Date ->09/25/88

..Did you get raped by a clown again?

..KtA, I'll play. Have plenty of experience, what the hell... I can't DM for
the rest of my life!


..Looking for TR!

[B7 #50 of 53] ? or Cmd [N]#

Brd ->Adventurer's Hall
Numb ->51 of 53
Sub ->About D&D...
Date ->09/25/88

I am planning to issue a questionare, because since the die rolls have come
on line people have been wanting to get in on the game. I don't plan on
letting users play Non Player Characters; I plan on rolling up characters
here at home and beefing them up a little (atleast an 18 in their primary
attribute), because everybody's only getting one character. I want them
to last so that some characters can become legends on this board in time
to come. This first scenario is very important, the future of BBS D&D
here lies with me and the players. It has had no success in the past but
we now have dice rolling thanks to MOTH and FRIENDS. Characters will be
uploaded on E-Mail for those who give great answers on the questionare.
I should be able to tell about experience from the questions. It will be
on later Sunday Sept 25th. So answer quickly in E-MAil because I don't
want any one else seeing your answers, they might use it on you later.
Characters will be as defined as if we weren't playing on the board. I
will use some of the answers in order to figure out things you would do
when put into certain situations. I'll post it a little later.
Kostawn The Assassin
Hero of Thieves

[B7 #51 of 53] ? or Cmd [N]#

Brd ->Adventurer's Hall
Numb ->52 of 53
Sub ->D&D Questionare Part 1
Date ->09/25/88

Assassin's Guild Dungeons & Dragons Questionare
NOTE: Answers should be given in E-MAIL to user #100
Please limit classes and races to Handbook only
Please don't answer this questionare in public

1) How many years have you been playing D&D ?
2) What class of character do you prefer ?
3) If preferred class is unavailable, what class would you like ?
4) What race of character do you prefer ?
5) What allignment would you prefer (make sure it is allowed) ?
5) What name would you like your character to have ?
6) Do you have an Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Players Handbook ?
7) If so then what is the Level Limitation for an Elven Illusionist (pg.14) ?
8) If accepted would you log onto the Assassin's Guild Everyday ?
9) Give a name of your character's diety (will be appointed if unanswered) ?

The following questions will allow the DM to make decisions for your
character if needed. The game will go faster because every question
on the character's movement will not have to be asked and answers
will not have to be waited on.

This is the scenario:
You are with a party of 5, they are:
Bosolor Male Dwarf Fighter
Merza' Female Elven Magic-User
Tolow Male Halfling Thief
Michael Male Human Cleric

Bosolor has become the semi established leader of the party.
Merza', because of high intelligence, is counted on when an
educated guess is needed.
You have joined with this band for personal (diety depending
on class) gain and know little about them.
The objective of Bosolor is to destroy the Hill Giants that
have taken over a local dwarven hold.
He has promised riches to those who wish to follow him inside
the caves. But also states that success is questionable in
his point of view. These giants are real punks.

Together you reach the mountain side where Bosolor does detect
a shifting wall. Tolow succesfully disarms a rock slide trap
and moves ahead of the party hiding in shadows and moving
silently. He is now out of sight.
The rest of the party follows behind for several hundred yards
without a report from Tolow. You have been moving north and
come to a section which allows for passage to the west, east,
north, or back from which you came. To the west you can see
the outline of an open doorway, through the door and on the
far wall a flicker of torch light can be noticed. To the east
there is total darkness in which you can hear an almost un-
audible gurgle. North yields 20 feet of corridor and then a
slow rising stairway which leads into darkness.

10) Bosolor asks you to go east and find the source of noise. Do you ?
11) Why ?
12) Bosolor wishes to go North, but you wish to go west. What do you do ?
13) Why ?

As the party goes east a corpse lies in the path. As you come
closer you notice it is Tolow. He has been stripped of his
belongings and looks to have been unharmed. After a closer
inspection you notice a hole and poison stain on his right
index finger. He had stated, that if he died, he would like
his body returned to his mother at West HollowSpoon.

14) Do you take his body with you or leave it for others to find ?
15) Why ?

Later in the scenario the party has been through many battles,
has not encountered the giants, but finds the treasure of
kings in a room close to the dungeon entrance.

16) Do you take the money and run or continue till the giants are defeated ?
17) Why ?

*** See Next Posting for part 2 ***

[B7 #52 of 53] ? or Cmd [N]#

Brd ->Adventurer's Hall
Numb ->53 of 53
Sub ->D&D Questionare Part 2
Date ->09/25/88

*** PART TWO ***

When encountered by the giants, you are outnumbered and all
hope seems lost. They offer you sanctuary and gold (only
if you aren't a gnome or dwarf because they hate them),
but want to kill Bosolor because he is a dwarf. Bosolor
hearing this goes beserk and unleashes the Hammer of
Dwarvish Lords on the giants.

18) What do you do in this situation and why ?

It is suggested that you save this questionare to a file at home, log
off the Assassin's Guild, answer the questions in a text file, and
xmodem it back to me in E-Mail.
Kostawn The Assassin
Shadow Blade of Jalkive

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Cooked Fat of a Pig

After an afternoon feast of one half a greasy brown paper sack full of cracklin' (which I devoured while cruising down the Dime at 70 MPH on my way from Frog City to Hub City- my rattle trap like a sweat box with no AC), I stumbled upon this gem on the Internet: "In the Southern United States, pork rinds carry less social stigma and are widely available, whereas elsewhere they are often poorly regarded due to their origins, high fat content and perceived crudeness as a snack."As if my instant clogged arteries and heart palpitations weren't enough!


Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Bad Brains.. a NEW ALBUM!

I was excited.

A boring evening had ended with a bit of web surfing.

I'd heard that the bad brains were thinking about reuniting. It filled me with expectation. The Bad Brains had fueled many a haze filled night in my youth. They were an important thread in the soundtrack that weaved its way through my adolescence.

A new album (I cling to the now-antiquated term...)

A new Album from the brains... This time with HR on board -- all the original guys. No more albums with the HR impersonator guy... (more about him another time!)

I found my way to a myspace page. While it might seem elitist to say so, I have visitied myspace a grand total of 5 times before... I ahve wayways foudn it a strange and irrelevant corner of the world wide web -- one that I don't frequent...

A Google search had lead to the official Bad Brains page on There, as I watched the usual array of 'shout outs' and links to the official band pages of other bands I recognized, a Bad Brains song started playing. I didn't know it... It was a new song.. Indeed, the whole album was available to play there in the browser..

I did play it -- some tunes twice!

This was ALMOST the Bad Brains I remembered! This was SO CLOSE!

Yeah, it's HR -- the genuine article is hard to mistake. The soung of this man's voice is as implanted on my psyche as deeply as that dramatic deep-voiced movie commercial announcer that doeas all the big-budget movie commercials... You know the voice...

But there was HR. For the first few songs I was just so happy to have him back that the overly religious overtones of the songs didn't bother me.. In fact, at one point he even degenerated into his spitting, sneeringly aggressive nonsense syllables in 'Pure Love' as some of the heaviest Bad Brains riffs boomed in the background in a regrettably short song that left me thirsting for more in the image of 'Outro' from The Quickness album.

Yes, it was the brains.
Yes it was the original lineup...

It's called 'Build a Nation'!

Maybe it's politically charged?

There was Daryl on the bass kicking out some of the thickest basslines I've heard him pump. His performance (and some production work by Adam from the Beastie Boys) has stamped this album as the bass player's boomstick stomping down and giving notice.

The drums were strong and right on the groove (whether ti's a reggae groove or hardcore jam!)

Then came Dr. Know. In all my fantasies of becoming a great guitarist, Dr. Know was always the penultimate. the zenith. The goal to which I aspired.. If I could crank out 5 or 10 seconds of lead that vaguely sounded like him, I was proud for weeks!

I would pay to watch the man practice alone.

As the songs flew past (with the reggae tunes bothering me more and more) I began to notice that there were no guitar leads!

I listened to the title track ad could just hear the spots where the bass dumped impossibly low and hit the bottom of the riff and the whole band rocked into the groove and all the choruses and backup barking had built up to the moment in the song where Dr Know would have laid down his line with the fury and abandon that marked my rise to manhood. The type of guitar lead your mind would have a hard time getting around. One that would take your psyche on a ride for just a few seconds. Such an artist as Dr. Know could cause you to drift out of your ears and float around the room on his guitar lead.

Few other guitarists have impressed me with their mastery. His skill is enhanced by his ability to harness the very chaos that is an electric guitar. The shrieking.. The fuzzy-crunching, snarling freedom of the note soaring above the expertly crafted rhythm with the wailing vocals of HR rouding out the edges -- THIS is the Bad Brains I wanted to hear.

This is the starvation of my soul that longed to be fed as the album progressed.

One song after the other came with an extra dose of religion that I have learned to tolerate int he music of the Brains... Not being a religious man, myself, a lot of the fervor pouring from HR's mouth is lost on me... The more and more I found that it had taken over the majority of the songs, I began to feel a tinge of disappointment with this album...

The disappointment of the religious aspect, HR's weakened vocals, the absence of any honest-to-goodness guitar leads on the whole album... These things conspire to color my attitude toward this album...

Head nodding, heart pumping, fist clenching jams with their new-found low-end emphasis and even some friendly studio chatter from the band all make me like this album at least as much as any of the overly-produced non-HR efforts of the past few attempts...

And hey, it's the original lineup! That's worth a lot (and would be even if they had laid down a children's christmas album!!)

In the end, this album is growing on me and is definitely worthy to stand next to Quickness and I against I in my Bad Brains collection. No, it doesn't approach Banned in DC or the self-titled, but it is a refreshing blast of punk rock.

Now that they got the 'come back' done, if they could loosen up and let the shrieking vocals rage and the guitar solos fly... It could be a big deal -- a very big deal. Punk rock could claw it's way back from the grave and roll over the limp bizkits and kid rocks of the harder-end of the musical spectrum this decade...

Feasting on Plantiffs

The dawn breaks on the face of the migraine pillowcase poster doorway carpet. Brush brush brush wet slick shave... dry.
. He began to deconstruct the events of the previous night....